REAL-ities

When two or more people are witnesses of a particular experience, when they all agree on a similar interpretation of that experience, that interpretation becomes their reality. Their attachment to this reality makes it very difficult, if not impossible, to convince either one of them, that there just might be an alternate reality. This becomes their "truth". There is no other perspective, after all “How can we all have the same conclusion from this same experience? It must be real”.

We are the sum of the interpretations we give to the various experiences we have encountered in our daily walk in life. Our interpretations create our realities. We hold onto these realities and respond to it, thereby creating more experiences that only seem to confirm our conclusions that these realities are true. Some people may call this “The Self-fulfilling Prophecy”. This idea gives us the impression that we have nothing to do with the creation of this reality we perceive around us. We become convinced that we have no power to change anything, that life just is, what life is. Unfortunately, this becomes our way of life and we regress into people who do not recognize that, what we experience is dependent on our expectations. These expectations actually attract these experiences into our lives. Changing the way we interpret our experiences, changes the realities we create around us. The work starts with our interpretations.

We observe children and we wonder why they are so carefree and fun-loving, even in the midst of hardship that may seem to surround them. We have seen pictures of children in poverty-stricken communities and we still observe them playing with what we will consider the saddest looking toys, but yet these children seem so content. The only time they express discontent is when they are hungry or hurt. Once they are fed or nursed, all is back to being well. We look at them and wonder, how can they still be smiling in such terrible conditions? Their laughter is the loudest and strangest sounds we can hear and their smiles, the brightest we can see in such dark situations. We may consider this intriguing because usually sitting next to them in those same photos, are the sad and worried faces of their parents or guardians. This all comes to the way we interpret our situations. Unless they are being physically harmed, young children do not analyse their lives. They do not engage with each other with the intention to compare and evaluate their situations. They do not have a need for any conclusion. Instead, the interaction they have with each other, usually goes along the lines of:

“Do you want to play?

“Yes!”

“Come on, let's go play house.”

“No, I want to play hide and go seek!”

“Okay! Let's play hide and go seek after we play house”

“Okay, lets go”

That's it. There is no analysis to be done, no comparison to do, no interpretations to have, no realities to create. They simply are going with the flow and looking forward to the fun experience they believe they are about to create.

I have had scenarios when my little kids come home from the park, all excited about meeting a new friend and the games they played together. When I ask them “What’s your new friend’s name?” without fail, their answer is “I don't know”. I find that bizarre, because as “grown adults”, we want to know all the information we can possibly gather about a new friend, so that we can decide whether we can trust their feedback on life. Do we think and reason alike? When we review our encounter, do we agree or disagree on our interpretation of the experience? Armed with this information and much more, we can decide whether or not we want to continue this interaction. Whether or not, this reality we interpreted together is worth pursuing or dismissing.

I hope by now you can see where I am going with this. Can you see what's possible with this process of creating realities together? Is it possible that this is what the Apostle Paul meant when he said in 2 Cor 6:14 “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?”. We may look at this from a biblical standpoint and assume that this has everything to do with hanging around non believers in Christ. I say this goes beyond Christianity and other religions. This has more to do with our individual sense of values, our guiding principles or our North Star. What direction we automatically turn towards when we interpret our experiences? Do we become negative, or attempt to interpret our experience from a positive outlook? The people you surround yourself with, can help you determine your automatic tendencies. When you have friends who tend to look at life from a “glass half empty” view point, you can be assured that you too may have some tendency to lean towards the negative interpretation of an experience. You and your friends are co-creators of the reality you are all currently surrounded with, thereby shaping each other’s future. Hence the term, birds of the same feathers, flock together. Psalm 13:20 expands this clearly. “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer”. This is not some biblical way of saying you will be punished for having bad friends. This simply means, when you associate with the negative, you suffer.

Our greatest suffering comes, not from our experiences, but from our interpretation of these experiences.

Life happens, people are born and people die, people get married and people get divorced, we gain blessings and we lose them, so on and so forth. How we choose to see what happens around and to us, how we choose to interpret these events, is what creates our realities and shapes our future. Choosing to see more good than bad in our experiences will affect our suffering, if any. This means the more we choose to see the good in life, the more uplifted we can become. Of course, we must employ the uses of our physical senses, but it most certainly requires the use of our spiritual ones. Seeing beyond what the world says is real, into what God says is true concerning you. Our interpretations are illusions. They are intangible and as unstable as our emotions. When we respond to them, we are defining the state of our existence based on an assumption. Instead we must lean on to the stability of what is true concerning who and whose we, no matter what is happening to and around us. We can see for ourselves within the Holy Scriptures where God's character and attributes are described. His words in the bible may be in reference to the Israelites, but it is important we choose to look at these words as simply his character and that the assurances we read about, also applies to us as well. There is nothing we can imagine, seen or unseen, that can separate us from the loving care of our God. Not race, timeline, or any other physical attribute or character we may or may not possess. Those promises apply to us simply because it is who God is to those who trust him. To trust God is to revere him. Our interpretation is an indication of how well we trust God. Our faith is pleasing to God (Heb 11:6). We are children to the God of provision, health, and more, whatever it is we need from him, HE IS. The name, I AM that I AM means he is anything and everything. Whatever is good is of God. So when we choose to look at our experiences and to see that everything that has happened or is currently happening is part of God’s perfect plan for us, we can create a reality that can lead us towards the promise that God has for us. His goodness stands no matter what we think or do, but it is up to us to tune in to that reality where that waiting promise is meant to be realized. If you choose an interpretation that is negative, one that will most definitely result in the creation of a reality filled with suffering, know that God’s promise does not exist in that reality. Therefore we will continue to suffer physically, emotionally and even psychologically. On the other hand choosing to see life and all that is happening in it as part of God’s perfect plan for our lives, if we chose to agree that no matter what we are experiencing, the good, the bad and the ugly, we are rest assured that “ALL things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose”. (Rom 8:28). God’s purpose for us is to thrive. It is only from this standpoint we can create a reality filled with hope, anticipation, expectancy, peace and also excitement.

We must take the time in our daily lives to reflect on our journey and with intention, choose to see that our struggles are not a surprise to God. It is all part of his perfect plan.

When we live with intention, in a reality as such, it is then we become those who have within them a peace that “transcends the understanding” of the human mind. (Phil 4:7).

This is how we must fight our battles and this, my friends, is how we win.

Constance Udenze

Spiritual Guide

My Sacred Path