I can't believe it!

“But I thought he loved us!” how can he forsake us at a time like this?”

I can't believe it either, Mary. I just can't believe it”

Four days later…

“Martha, It's been 4 days and he is still not here! What is going on?”

“I don’t know , I STILL cannot believe it.”

“If only he had been here, Lazarus would not have died. How can he not be here by now? I don't understand. But I thought he loved us. I thought he loved Lazarus”

“I thought so too Mary, I-I can't believe this is happening”.

The confused conversation between two sisters who had just lost their only brother to an illness. He wasn't supposed to die so young, at least not when they have a friend called Jesus. Everyone knows Jesus, he is the Rabbi who healed the sick and made the blind see. They had shared many meals with Jesus in their home. He was a regular visitor and Martha had made sure he was well taken care of each time he visited. She even got scolded once for being too busy fusing over him and his disciples when they stopped by for a meal once, while Mary, her younger sister, sat at his feet to listen to his teaching that evening. They loved him and he loved them too, at least that is what they thought until a few days ago. Jesus was away in Jerusalem. The sisters had sent for him asking him to come quickly because Lazarus was deathly ill. They were sure Jesus would come soon to heal him and everything would be alright again. They were so confident of this till the very moment when Lazarus took his last breath. They were horrified. Their brother was dead and Jesus had stood them up. How could this be?

Most of us have had some experiences here and there where we too felt abandoned. We know what it means to be betrayed, rejected and alone. It hurts even more when we feel treated this way by those we were sure loved and cared about us. What about when we feel like it is God who has abandoned us? Even Jesus Christ cried out at the hour of his death “My God, my God why have you forsaken me?” It is painful. Like the sisters, Martha and Mary, I too couldn't understand why my brother had to die. He had been a passenger in a car accident on the same day he had received a promotion at work and was going out to celebrate with his boss. Everybody else involved in that accident was okay except him. I had prayed and prayed for days while he laid in a coma back in Nigeria, believing God would answer my cries. In my desperation I remember praying and offering myself in exchange for his life. He was 33 years old and had a wife who was only 2 months pregnant. But when my brother passed on, I was so devastated and hurt. I couldn't believe it. Of course, unlike Mary and Martha, I didn't expect Jesus to come to the hospital to raise my brother up, but I was certain a miracle would happen somehow and my brother would sit up again. This loss hurt especially deeply because just 6 years before, my mom had passed away, followed by my dad 3 years later. 2 years after my dad, my only brother passed away from the injuries sustained in the car accident. It was all happening too fast and I couldn't understand why God would allow it. I didn't ask why God would abandon me in my time of desperate need, I just simply concluded that God didn't care about me as he said he did in the bible.

Unfortunately when we arrive at a certain conclusion about someone or something. We start looking around for evidence to support that conclusion and of course, we tend to find them. I believed God didn't care about me and so every unfortunate event I experienced hence fort simply served as confirmation that I was unloved and abandoned. I did not believe anything good could possibly happen for me. I only focused on the negative experiences and conclusions from my past which I used to create the the goggles through which I viewed my world. The world calls it The law of Attraction. The law states that every good or bad thought attracts to oneself, good or bad experiences. In spirituality, we can call this faith. We assume that faith only works when we affirm the positive in our lives, but it also works when we affirm the negative as well - it just called by a different name - Self-fulfilling prophecy.

Mary and Martha had sent word to Jesus that Lazarus was ill, but when he died, it is possible that they must have concluded in their grief that Jesus didn't love them and had simply set them aside. Read Luke 11:17-44 and you will see that eventually Jesus did come to see them, only that he came 4 days after Lazarus had been laid in the tomb. Why is that? Why is God “late” to come to our rescue sometimes? Why do we have to go through grief and intense heartache and sometimes for such a long time, before he decides to show up? But Jesus gave us the answer in vs. 14 …so that you may believe”. Believe what? Believe that you're not as you think you are, abandoned, set aside, rejected, unloved and every other negative conclusion we believe about ourselves. In every challenge lies an opportunity for an attitude adjustment, an opportunity for self reflection and self realization. In order words, you are given a choice to see for yourself and decide who you believe you are in God. Our identity plays a key role in how we see our place in God’s eye and in this world. We love accolades. We love receiving acknowledgement and praise for doing something the world around us would consider impressive. We can easily become too impressed with ourselves and our “abilities” that we confuse God’s movement as our work.

After laying to rest in a tomb for four days, in a climate that is predominantly hot, there is no confusion that the body of Lazarus had already started the process of decomposition. The scriptures say that when Jesus received the message from the sisters, he decided to stay 2 additional days in Parea. The 40 mile trek back to Bethany would typically take approximately 4 days, which means it was part of his intention to delay his return till after the death of Lazarus. Whenever and however God comes to our rescue, know that it was always part of the plan and there is a bigger reward for us to gain from that delay. Sometimes our prayers may go unanswered and yes, it usually does hurt in the moment. It is only later that we may look back and go from “Father, why have you forsaken me?” to “Thank you Lord for unanswered prayers”. It is appropriate to lament in our pain, to cry out.

Our tears are prayers too and God hears our unspoken words when we shed them. He hurts with us, but he also celebrates for us as we draw closer to that moment when our faith reward is given to us. Martha and Mary each fell into the embrace of Jesus when he arrived and cried out to him, just as I did when my brother died “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died”. “Lord, if you had only answered my prayers, my brother would not have died”. These are the words of the brokenhearted. No one else understands those words more than God. He hurts when we hurt, but he still holds us up when we cannot stand on our own due to our grief and despair.

No matter what our challenges may be, a death of a loved one, either physically or psychologically, a broken relationship, a devastation, tragedy or any kind of loss, know that though it may be hard to believe, God is with us. Just as the sun may be covered by a dark cloud but it is there, so is our God. Our emotions can cloud our minds that we do not perceive him and we conclude that we are forgotten. It is the earth that rotates away from the sun, not the other way around, so also does our emotions cause us to move away from the true position of God. Thankfully just as the earth always finds its way back to the sun, so also we can continue to strive to find our way back to the one who is for us and never far away from us. His grace is ever present for us. This is God’s promise “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back from your captivity; ...Jer 29:11-14.

The shortest verse in the bible is found in John 11:35 “Jesus wept”. Probably the most popular scripture in the entire book. But unfortunately most people misunderstand these 2 words. They assume that Jesus wept because Lazarus was dead. This was not the case, he wept because he was “deeply moved in spirit and troubled” by the unbelief of the Jews who had come to mourn with the sisters. When Martha and Mary lamented to Jesus, they didn't lament as people who were completely lost. They still demonstrated faith in the Jesus’ abilities. They knew anything was possible, they just didn't know what it was. This was demonstrated by Martha. “If you had been here, my brother wouldn't have died. But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask”. Now, that’s what I call faith. But unlike the sisters, the Jews were critical of Jesus saying “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?” Sound familiar? That would be the kind of comments we would typically make. We must endeavor to surround ourselves always with those who are capable of lifting us up when we are down and we too must strive to play a similar role in the lives of others as well. Jesus wept at the unbelief and lack of expectations of the Jewish people. God operates in expectations. Faith is the act of keeping hope alive and expecting the unseen to happen. The story concludes when Jesus asked the people to roll away the stone from the tomb’s entrance despite Martha’s protest, that there would be a stench inside the tomb by now. But when the stone was rolled away, Jesus gave thanks to God in the following words “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me”. Martha and Mary would know that you have not forgotten them and are with them, that the unbelievers may come to believe in you even more.

Giving thanks especially through our tears is a powerful demonstration of faith. Our tears are prayers, and can also remind us to praise and give thanks in advance in anticipation of God’s goodness. ...And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose. (Rom 8:28, KJV)...if we only believe.