But tradition made me do it!

Unless you're a non-Christian, you must have heard the story of Mary and Martha, most likely many times more than any other bible story in the new testament. Two Sisters who lived in a Village called Bethany.

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They lived with their brother Lazarus and were good friends with our Lord Jesus Christ. They regularly welcomed him into their home.

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On one of those occasions, Jesus was sitting in their living room speaking with other guests and Mary was sitting right there at his feet listening to his teaching, while Martha was busy preparing the refreshments to be presented to the guests.

Growing up in Nigeria, I was taught that whenever guests were welcomed into our home, we had a duty to provide refreshments. My mom, my older sisters and myself were responsible for preparing, presenting food and drinks, while my Dad chat with the guests in the sitting rooms. Usually if one or more of the guests is a lady, then my mom, after giving necessary instructions in the kitchens, would join my Dad and the guests. During my growing years, It was considered inappropriate if a daughter of the house decides to sit in the living room to participate in the conversation, without permission and was not in the kitchen assisting with the preparations. As is with most ethnic cultures, hospitality in Nigeria, is regarded with utmost importance. Therefore, our role was to ensure that our guests were fed with the best we had to offer, and to ensure their satisfaction with their visit to our home. Afterwards, if we wanted to, we may be permitted to join them in the sitting room.

Keeping my upbringing in mind, it is interesting to read what Jesus had to say to Martha when she complained about Mary to him. Mary had left all the preparation to her and instead, was sitting with the guests, listening to Jesus speak. As is tradition, Mary was expected to help out with the preparations as well. Martha had asked Jesus to send Mary back to the kitchen to help out, but instead he responded

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“Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things;” (Luke 10:41 NASB).

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We were never told how the situation was resolved and if Martha had any response to Jesus' observation. Nevertheless, I can imagine her confusion. “But it is tradition to serve refreshment to our guests. If I joined Mary to sit at your feet, nothing would be presented to you and the other guests. But if she returns to the kitchen with me to help out, then maybe we can both come back into the sitting room to listen to your teachings when we are done”. Sounds logical to me...or is it not?

Reading through the scriptures on the life of Jesus, I believe it is safe to conclude that he was not one to be concerned with tradition. As much as some social norms were established to promote kindness and other social benefits, they can also serve as a source of distractions and an obstacle to living life to the full. John 10:10 reminds us that Christ knew his purpose and that was his only focus: “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life (irrespective of their traditions ).”(NLT) [emphasis mine]

True, it is a gesture of kindness to feed and entertain your guests when they visit your home. It is particularly wise, to be responsible and to take care of all your obligations.

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Unfortunately, these days society attributes the attainment of success to long hours of working hard and staying busy.

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There are no occasions in the history books where you read Jesus was in a hurry to his next appointment and didn't have time to give his attention to anyone. He didn't preoccupy himself with busy work, instead he made time for his ministry and time for play - which in reality was the same thing. Our flesh is drawn to being a Martha, but our spirit is a Mary. Since we can not live without either personalities, therefore we were neither called to be Martha or a Mary. We are invited to be both. We must take the time to study God, to know him through prayer and meditation. We must open ourselves to experience him in our daily lives and especially during our challenges. It is in these personal experiences that our faith is developed, where we evolve from people who hear about God, into those who have experienced God personally. You are only as close to God as you want to be. Building a relationship requires prioritizing. Each day, we spend our time doing the things we believe are important at that moment, whether or not we want to do it. So if building your faith is important to you, you will allocate some time to focus on studying holy scriptures and prayerfully meditating on them consistently.

What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? James 2:14 (NLT)

Faith without demonstration is useless. We can be regarded as “People of faith”, “The Marys'', and yet very little about our lives brings any value to the people around us. Our faith guide the work of our hands, it guides our decisions, the directions we take and the fruit we bear. So also the work of our hands, our decisions, our sense of directions and the fruit we bear demonstrates our faith for all to see and hopefully be inspired by.

During the entire 3 years of Jesus’ ministry, it was clear to see that his faith and sense of purpose directed his actions and affected the lives of those around him. On the other hand, the work he did and the fruit he bore demonstrated his faith and his purpose which in turn inspired the world around him and beyond, till this day. Today, let us work towards breaking away from the social obligations that were either placed upon us or that we willingly assumed upon ourselves.

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You do not have to give up your life as a Martha to become a Mary nor do you have to give up your life as a Mary to become a Martha, you can have a balance of both.

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Jesus proved it is possible, so it is on us to learn new ways to create this balance, to live a life that is rich and satisfying. This is the ultimate purpose of our being.