Let us go to the other side

That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”

He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!”

Mark 4:35-41

Unless you are a new Christian, you have probably heard this story told many times before. Now let us use our imagination to see what it looked like being on the boat that fateful evening. Imagine the disciples trapped in a furious storm with their boat rocking wildly from side to side. High waves dumping sea water into the boat. Some of the men are trying frantically to steer the vessel, while some are running back and fort trying to lower the sails. They have to drain the sea water off the boat otherwise they will sink. There are buckets and pails clanking about, some of the men are urgently scooping water from the bottom of the boat and dumping it overboard. Others are trying to drop the anchor. The temperature has dropped to the lower degrees, the men are wet and cold. To communicate instructions to each other, they have to scream at the top of their voices because of the loud winds howling around them. They are doing anything and everything to prevent the boat from sinking.

There is dread, fear is paralyzing them. There is confusion and possibly regret. Maybe they shouldn't have sailed that night. Someone is waking Jesus up from his sleep. They are waking him up to join in their frantic attempt to save the boat. All hands on deck! Some of the disciples are secretly blaming Jesus for their situation right now, besides it was him who asked them to sail that night. They could have waited until the morning before they sailed or at least until after the storm had passed.

“Rabbi, why are you still asleep? Do you not see the danger you have put us in?”

“Can you not hear the winds or feel the boat rocking?”

“Come, please! We need to save the boat or we will all perish tonight, come now”.

But Jesus was not about to join them in their scrambling about. Instead, he looks at the wet and panic stricken faces of the men around him. He turned outwards towards the sea and addressed the winds and the waves.

“Wait! What?!”

“What is happening right now?”

This isn't what the men were expecting. They had a boat to save, instead Jesus is talking to the weather? But the moment he spoke, the winds died down and the waves went still, what a sight! That must have been the most shocking moment in the lives of the disciples. Going from utter panic and chaos to complete stillness. This must have been hard to comprehend. I can imagine them looking around themselves, at the boat and at the sea in disbelief. One moment they were completely terrified, about to drown and in the next, it's like nothing happened. Their only proof that the storm did occur would be their wet hair, drenched clothes, and the deck of the boat still covered with sea water. Pails and buckets scattered everywhere, the sail at half mast. I have heard people say that Jesus must have been furious and so criticized his disciples for their display of fear, especially since he was in the boat with them. I personally chose to think that Jesus must have been more awed than angry.

“Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” Mark 4:40

It is like he’s saying to them: “We have been together for some time now. You have seen the miracles and wonders I have done for many. You have gotten a direct glimpse into who I am and yet when trouble came, you forget completely all you have witnessed?

Did you really believe you would all die in that storm?

That I would actually bring you here to perish?”.

I believe the Holy spirit is all knowing and by its presence in Jesus, he knew this experience in the storm would happen. Even though Jesus must have been exhausted from a full day of ministry (yes I said exhausted, he was human not wood), the boat trip was another opportunity to test and reveal to the disciples who they become and how they respond to challenges even with Jesus in their midst. With fear and doubt. It was meant for them to evolve from being witnesses of other people’s miracles, to experiencing their own and becoming true witnesses to the identity of Christ. When times are good and all is going according to our plans, we all cry out “Lord, Lord I trust you, I know you are good! you are able!” and so on, but at the first sight of trouble, we scurry around trying to save ourselves, forgetting who is in the boat with us. Even when we remember that Jesus is present, we wake him up, not to calm the storm, but to join us in scooping water off the boat.

Below is a painting by the artist Rembrandt called The storm of the sea of Galilee.

It is an oil on canvas painting dated as far back as 1633. This painting describes the experience of the storm of Mark 4:35-41. It portrays to an extent, the disciples in their frantic attempts to control their fishing boat and to save it from sinking. The disciples look utterly terrified, and disoriented. One of the disciples is trying to drop the sail, while another is leaning overboard vomiting. Rembrandt is known to include his image in all his paintings and there is speculation that the disciple holding onto a line and peering directly at the viewer is Rembrandt himself. In the painting, Christ is portrayed as the the only calm person on that boat, while everyone else looked a mess.

Now consider yourself, your tendency when you find yourself in trouble and figure out which disciple on that boat represents you. Are you the one who will keep trying to control the boat? trying to resist the tall waves and the winds? or are you the one who immediately gives up in despair and fearful surrender that you lean overboard to vomit? Would you be the one waking Jesus up to join in the attempt to save the boat? There is one, not represented by any of the disciples in the painting. This one would do what he or she must do to keep faith up, knowing and trusting that no harm will come to them as long as Jesus is on the boat. Will that person be you? Don’t think I am that “no-existent” disciple. I represent multiple disciples because first I will be the one who would try to take control and when I realize I don't have control of the boat, will lean over the side to empty my guts out. Unfortunately, after vomiting I would go back to trying to control the boat again and then repeat the process until I realize it is not working. Maybe then I might join the crew waking Jesus up lamenting “what are we going to do? I don’t know what to do? We are going to die!”.

As I reconsider this scripture passage, I recognize God's invitation in the words “Let us go over to the other side” Mark 4:35. 8 years ago, I began a journey with disability. Nothing has rocked my world as hard as receiving a diagnosis of Cerebral Palsy for my daughter. It was definitely a journey I would have never chosen to embark on. I have experienced hurt so deep, disappointments so blinding and shock after shock so debilitating that I sometimes cannot physically move. There have been moments of intense confusion, fear, shame and doubt in my identity in Christ, that all I wanted to do is to crawl into a small, dark and quiet space, lie in a fetal position, close my eyes and loose consciousness. Sometimes I am not sure how to just BE and what mental posture to remain in. It has been a long journey and it is not over yet. I have grown from blaming God to believing there's a reason, he allowed this to happen to my child. God’s invitation said to me on that day at the office of the neurologist “Come, let us go to the other side of who you are today. Let us go to become who you are capable and were created to be”. There is much more I haven’t come to realize yet, but I have been through fire and drudged through deep muddy water. I have been humbled and stripped of most of all that held me back from growing spiritually. Disability is painful, it hurts to watch the most amazing parents I know struggle at trying to be the best advocate they can be for their children. It hurts so much to watch our children endure and fight their unique challenges. I have learned empathy, patience, resilience while learning to give up the illusion of control. I know now that God did not cause the diagnosis, just as Christ did not cause the storm, but he knew it was coming. God factored it into his plans for my life and my daughter's life. Therefore keeping this in mind, I trust that what the devil intended for evil, God will use for good for my daughter, my family & I and also for generations to come Genesis 50:20.

God is in the boat with me, I choose to remember all he has been in my life and hope to hold onto those memories during the bad times. Yes the seas will be choppy and the waves high. The winds will scream and shriek whispers of doom in my ears, causing fear to rise within me, making me want to cower. Those whispers will make me dread at what is next. But at the same time, I am invited to remember the word of God in Isaiah. 43.

But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

Isaiah 43: 1,2

That is who God is. Those words describe his character. He watches over me, over you. He is in the boat with us. My friends, whatever you are enduring in this moment, in this season of your life, remember that God is saying:

“Do not loose faith, trust and believe that I am with you every step of the way. It will all come together, we are making progress, we will get to the other side. Stay close to me and you will not perish here. I didn't bring you here to leave you. No, I am taking you to the other side, but you must trust me and believe that this is not where it ends. This is not the entire story of your life, this is only part of the journey. Look back and you will see how far you have come and see that I have been with you all along''.

Friends, the boat will not sink, He is in it. Hold on to the personal flotation device on board. Keep worship in your hearts, so that your focus is not on your challenges but on our Almighty God. Be reminded of his character and faithfulness concerning you, by immersing yourself in meditative prayer and in the word of God.

As you study the word of God, as you learn to trust him, keep his promises within your heart, this way you will not fall off the boat. Even so, even if you do fall overboard into the abyss of this world and you are consumed with its cares and confusions. Even if you become separated from God, be assured he will come for you. God cannot come this far with you to leave you, his own, behind. He is faithful to reach into the sea, to bring you up and back to the safety of his presence, just like the shepherd coming for his one lost sheep, leaving the ninety-nine behind. Luke 15:1-7.

Constance Udenze

Spiritual guide

My Sacred Path